|Posted by elevenfive on October 15, 2019 at 4:45 PM||comments (1)|
The objective is to protect hearts & relationship potential. Let's begin.
1. Honor Thy "Expiration Date"
To avoid the trap of a Catfish, give that special someone homework due on a "specific date" in the near future (birthday is preferred): send picture proof. This way, you can enjoy the bond and have emotional insurance, simply by honoring the promised "expiration date" of this overdue experience.
2. Thou Shall Have No Other E-mails
Most scammers will immediately isolate you off the dating site and within their personal email so they can speak strategically to you to get money, inappropriate favors, steal data, ect. Because your heart is involved, and the extra privacy can be rationalized as romantic, this may be tempting. So make a decision beforehand to stick to this commandment for your heart's and time's sake.
3. Thou Shalt Not Lend
Love and empathy are 2 different things. If you feel like a target of operant conditioning, where love seems like it's being held for ransom, move on. Both love and help need should require sincerity, rather than an inconvenient back story to put the courting process on hold until you alone come to the economic rescue. So no love banks, okay? Leave a loan alone.
4. Remember The "Special Data"
This is also a good icebreaker. Quiz your potential mate on your profile...from inside your profile. Then make their correct answer a "special data" password! This is the dating equivalent of "click here to prove you're not a spam robot." Doing this will expose those love imposters who copy & paste their fishy phishing introduction with some other unshy motive.
Your quick profile quiz instruction can be as simple as them answering "what was my last hobby listed in my profile?" Use it like a password first before their message to you. This way you'll know that any message that doesn't begin with "skydiving" for example isn't paying close enough attention. You'll know before they know!
5. Thou Shalt Not Take the Future in Vain
Many profiles have what I like to call "Penpal Profiles," meaning they're just looking for someone to talk to. They have absolutely no intention of dating or meeting up. But, in the most innocent of ways, they're wasting your heart's time. To avoid this, clear that field with "future language." Give them a "meetup password" for whenever they decide to ask you out or vise versa. And observe their reaction. The "future language" will test the serious level, while simultaneously confirming yours!
Go even further by giving them a "freestyle questionnaire" to complete in 60 seconds ranging from how they feel about kids, to their willingness to relocate, from political affiliations, to religious identity. And don't worry because real love is a longtime fan of the future.
6. Thou Shalt Not Entertain False Profiles
There's no way you should help someone manipulate your heart! Spotting a big inconsistency in what they've chosen to promote, it goes against the seniority that honesty itself should have in a relationship. This is dating profile; it's not employment! And the question becomes whether it's insecurity, dishonesty by choice, a narcissistic personality, or all of the above. This is love traffic to seriously consider.
7. Honor Thy Logic & Their Clues
Remember our detective's strategy: The Invisible Oops? You must sometimes create your own opportunity to see what's really in someone's heart to protect your own. So in their messages, search for the motive, look for the origin of any alleged misfortune which mysteriously high-jack your conversations. Ask yourself, "How did the conversation steer here?" Even print it out to examine. If all their messages produce more anxiety than the date that hasn't even happened yet, do what you must before allowing yourself to get too involved in a unprovable dilemma. Always remember:
"Wisdom will have Delilah's plan 'cut short' before it lacks the strength to" - Me
8. Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery (Unknowingly)
In one online dating site, 60 percent of the profiles were already married. And it wasn't Ashley Madison. Skip the marital traffic, the unfair homewrecker reputation, and the camera crew of Cheaters storming your table with the funnier suggestion to make sure they're not married. Try searching for their Facebook relationship status. Or ask them directly, under the sincere premise that you're beginning to really like them.
9. Thou Shalt Not Trust (Initially)
It's always amazing to me how most people view trust as a checklist they'll just throw away for someone they love prematurely. Yet most religions support the idea of a higher power "testing them." In the Bible, Job was being tested by God. And God already like him! Add to the scripture that "God is love," and why is this process uneven between humans looking for love? Why is a even probation period for trust sometimes a deal-breaker? I'll tell you why. Desperation perceived, whether true or not, is a bargain to people who eventually aren't "worth" you! I'm talking about these poker-face, game-player, people who stay allergic to accountability by choice. They don't want a "trust test" because they know they'll fail. So they project their burden onto you, "trust me." Bad relationships start from free trust. Good things (including you) come to those who wait.
10. Thou Shalt Not Rush
Have a "Skype Date" first! Real love is a slow-motioned experience of the rhymes between 2 deserving people. So if your special someone is rushing this process, you might want to look for other clues of their sincerity. Have a scheduled cup of coffee from your laptop. There's the psychological benefit of your comfort level at home, you'll save money for the real date. And more importantly, you'll be just a click away from anything negative or inaccurate.
11.Thou Shall Look for "Puzzle Pieces"
This extra 11th Commandment is advanced and only available on the original blog entry. Click below to reveal. Enjoy yourselves. Stay safe. Love freely with The 10 Commandments of Online Dating.
Guess the Character?
This article is inspired by Eden, the shy bridesmaid in cozy mini-mystery: The Shotgun's Wedding by the same author.
11. Thou Shall Look for the "Puzzle Pieces"
Inside the riddle of the Starving Restaurant (in the book Narcissistic Puzzle Peace), you got the chance to explore the stages, phrases, and terms of emotional abuse. Click on extra riddle scenes to learn more specifically during the date. Enjoy yourselves. Stay safe. Love freely with The 10 Commandments of Online Dating.
|Posted by elevenfive on October 13, 2019 at 9:50 PM||comments (0)|
Imagine trying to take a picture with a camera that can’t focus on anything specifically. After that, imagine traveling with a map keeps changing its picture, right in the middle of your journey. Imagine being a judge in a beauty contest, where the 3 finalists…are triplets! And I think I can imagine how you might feel. Anywhere between 2 to 12 percent of our children today don’t have to image because they live out this experience every day. It’s called Attention Deficit Disorder or A.D.D. And by the end of this quick visual, you’ll have a clear understanding of the mentality and mechanics of A.D.D. So observe on behalf of your children and loves ones because A.D.D is not the problem! It’s the connection between who they are, and what we don’t know, that’s causing our children so much pain… that we really couldn’t imagine.
A.D.D is an attention span deficiency. It’s an inability to discriminate against external stimuli. But for a visual example, allow me to ask you: as a judge in a beauty contest, how can you pick a winner… out of triplets? And the answer to that question is, “welcome to the world of Attention Deficit Disorder,” where everything has the same psychological value across the board. Inside the mind of these special, and sometimes gifted, kids every sound and every color is noticed and experienced equally. And although this actually sounds positive, it poses as a problem whenever these kids need to concentrate. It’s just like the camera I mentioned that cannot focus on anything specifically. Picture taking a picture of task completion, and it’s hard for anyone with A.D.D to smile at that camera. Children with A.D.D are often accused of being irresponsible. After all, everyone understands task completion where you start at a certain point, and you don’t stop until you get to your destination. It’s a lot like traveling! But could you travel to the rhythm of that mysterious map that keeps changing its picture on you and your every move? Welcome to the world of Attention Deficit Disorder. If you have a child who has trouble cleaning their room all at once, can’t seem to finish in one setting, or can’t complete a duty that lacks interest, it is imperative to pay more attention that. Again, the psychological condition and our current unawareness as a society is just too much for our children. Believe me, I know.
|Posted by elevenfive on October 3, 2019 at 12:30 AM||comments (0)|
Many people fail at getting or giving a sincere apology. And the mystery follows from relationships lost, opportunities missed, and dysfunction created. What they needed was a quick checklist for sincerity! And both the offender and the offended needed awareness itself to win! This apology checklist does both to surgically remove the confusion wining right now! So if an apology has any of these signs, they are "pieces of the puzzle" keeping you puzzled.
1. The Word IF
Does “I’m sorry if…” sound familiar? They’re still holding on to their doubt, even as they apologize? Whenever you accept this type of apology, you are endorsing the idea that your perception or emotional rights don’t matter. Beware of any offender okay with this.
2. Weird Timing
This is a double-meaning experience of a seemingly rushed epiphany that just happens to help the offender save face at the same time. The real goal might be damage-control, while validating you barely makes their Top 5. So you must ask yourself these quick questions:
- where did they say this epiphany came from?
- what followed after their words?
- how does this potential moment of maturity relate to their call-to-action?
- is there any evidence their Flying Monkeys were redirected?
If you're puzzled trying to answer these questions, you may still be a mere Target to their tactics. Fake epiphanies are not beneath the instruments of an insincere, win-by-all-means, Cluster B personality type. As you wonder about motive, remember this.
"Fear is stronger than love." - Machiavelli
3. A Moment to Reciprocate
And now… it’s your turn? After their last resort, they offer an artificial apology and then wait for you to apologize too. In algebra, two fake apologies will just ‘cancel each other out.’ No change, no sincerity; only tradition won that conversation. And just like algebra, you’re sure to revisit this “problem” again unless or until you get amnesia, ‘ditch class,’ or start to ‘grade off a curve.’ This is where a relationship becomes unhealthy. Never allow omission to get to a point where sincerity itself is owed an apology!
4. A Cap on Their Remedy
This is the most predicable response. When an offender is out of tactics, you’ll hear “well… all I can do is say ‘sorry.” Sound familiar? Think about this for a second: they’re clueless as to why you’re upset, or how you have a right to be. But somehow during this confrontation, they’ve thought this whole thing out and they’re the victim of no options! There’s a theme here: emotional sloth and artificial confidence. If only this person cared for others like they care for “doing nothing at all,” no apologies would be necessary!
5. A Boycott Against Change
When it comes to accountability, most offenders have a plan to escape but no plan to change. For the special bonds they’ve chosen, they should expect to change as a healthy relationship requires. If you hear, “I am what I am” as a reflex to everything, this falls short of sincerity.
Business will settle lawsuits, with no admission of guilt and a confidentiality agreement. But that’s “just business!” Personal relationships are supposed to enjoy more.
“Stress changes the Truth for itself; Peace changes itself for the Truth.” - Jwyan C. Johnson
Rules for the Offended
“Being angry is easy; anyone can do it. But being angry at the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right reason, and in the right way is not easy. It is not within everyone’s power" - Aristotle
Beware of anyone constantly failing this checklist. You may be dealing with a Narcissist on a mission to cause you emotional abuse. And you deserve "peace from the puzzle."
So be your own mystery detective as these are the sincere apology signs.
Guess the Character?
This article is from the character Katlyn Porter featured in the cozy mini-mystery The Shotgun's Wedding. She was the admired news reporter who explored the missing bachelor party guest, and the possibility of it being a alibi.
|Posted by elevenfive on September 30, 2019 at 11:25 PM||comments (0)|
The Israelites went from slaves in a stranger’s land to owners of their own land. And in the middle of this journey was the wilderness: God training ground of choice. Part of Leviticus is the economic training to ensure His people aren’t enslaved again by money. This is where another obstacle today gets in our way. It’s a success “checker” called The Lender.
The reason we should “lend and not borrow” is because “a borrower becomes a slave to its lender (Proverbs 22:7).” So I offer you spiritually responsible method called The Dominion Plan. It's a fun and spiritually responsible way to balance a lifestyle, maintenance the heart, and never face this finance “checker.”
Begin with this simple question: can you make it with only 70% of your income? I'm talking about staying out of the wilderness. If the answer is no, make some adjustments to get to that point before you continue. You can cross examine some of your spending habits, work extra hours, or practice more minimalist living. Any reasonable sacrifice will be worth it.
We’re gonna divide your income into 4 percentages: 10-70-10-10.
For…you guessed it!
The first 10 percent is inspired by Jacob after he received the blessing, and once celebrate by King David as a process off of “God’s giving hand,” we’re talking about tithing. And that is my story in Book 1. You guys remember me in The Parable of The Invisible Car Pool right? How was my performance?
For The Wilderness Reflex
70 percent of your income is to live basic and humble. Anything you buy that you feel tempted to advertise to your friends doesn't fall into this category. You’ll learn why in a second. The method is gonna substitute Retail therapy, your gambling, and your costly escapes.
Twist the Familiar
Find out the amount your local bank charges for overdraft fee in checking account. And this same amount is now your fee to yourself! You’ll be saving up 10 percent of everything you make in cash form, letting it build. And whenever you’re in need, borrow from yourself prepared to repay it in cash with the overdraft fee first chance you get. Any inability to do this on time doubles you penalty. And your own IOU get bigger than your ability
See this way you hold every new desire accountable, measuring against all you accumulated labor. This will restore and maintain your dominion. You’ll master your servitude for one Master only. Remember, you can’t serve both God and mammon. You’re basically betraying the lure of money and building it up to please God. This will maintain your resistance to temptation. Use this method as a head start to actively pleasing God.
Invest in Something You Didn't see Coming!
Life is about finding purpose, setting goals, believing in and owning yourself. Just as we “are the salt of the earth,” these experiences are arguably the “flavor of our lifestyle.” Without it, we go from flavorless, to bitter, to spoiled. Any routine that demands a break from these 3 things is just emotional abuse. That’s why it’s important to set money aside for you to invest in you, without built up psychological pressure. This way, the reflex of retail therapy is over! Here are a few suggestions:
- Hobbies: advertise your business or hobby
- Singers: buy some studio time
- Artists: advertise your work on bigger platforms
- Learners: buy a fun college course
Whatever you choose, it should maintenance your potential. Invest in a “Sabbath day” away from consistency of how public opinion’s defines you. And your faith won’t have so much pressure! How about being inspired and/or being an inspiration without the debt? Your character will continue to be defined, taking nothing away from the other categories. It should be a vacation away from your cycle. Believe me 10 percent will never seem too costly on the inside.
What will happen?! And every step you take to you potential becomes a platform out of the wilderness and into your Promised Land.
This advice is free Christian love from the Taxi Driver character in Christian Parables. But feel free to buy me lunch with a small donation. Congratulations in advance on owning this new platform referred to as "you!"