|Posted by elevenfive on October 3, 2019 at 12:30 AM||comments (0)|
Many people fail at getting or giving a sincere apology. And the mystery follows from relationships lost, opportunities missed, and dysfunction created. What they needed was a quick checklist for sincerity! And both the offender and the offended needed awareness itself to win! This apology checklist does both to surgically remove the confusion wining right now! So if an apology has any of these signs, they are "pieces of the puzzle" keeping you puzzled.
1. The Word IF
Does “I’m sorry if…” sound familiar? They’re still holding on to their doubt, even as they apologize? Whenever you accept this type of apology, you are endorsing the idea that your perception or emotional rights don’t matter. Beware of any offender okay with this.
2. Weird Timing
This is a double-meaning experience of a seemingly rushed epiphany that just happens to help the offender save face at the same time. The real goal might be damage-control, while validating you barely makes their Top 5. So you must ask yourself these quick questions:
- where did they say this epiphany came from?
- what followed after their words?
- how does this potential moment of maturity relate to their call-to-action?
- is there any evidence their Flying Monkeys were redirected?
If you're puzzled trying to answer these questions, you may still be a mere Target to their tactics. Fake epiphanies are not beneath the instruments of an insincere, win-by-all-means, Cluster B personality type. As you wonder about motive, remember this.
"Fear is stronger than love." - Machiavelli
3. A Moment to Reciprocate
And now… it’s your turn? After their last resort, they offer an artificial apology and then wait for you to apologize too. In algebra, two fake apologies will just ‘cancel each other out.’ No change, no sincerity; only tradition won that conversation. And just like algebra, you’re sure to revisit this “problem” again unless or until you get amnesia, ‘ditch class,’ or start to ‘grade off a curve.’ This is where a relationship becomes unhealthy. Never allow omission to get to a point where sincerity itself is owed an apology!
4. A Cap on Their Remedy
This is the most predicable response. When an offender is out of tactics, you’ll hear “well… all I can do is say ‘sorry.” Sound familiar? Think about this for a second: they’re clueless as to why you’re upset, or how you have a right to be. But somehow during this confrontation, they’ve thought this whole thing out and they’re the victim of no options! There’s a theme here: emotional sloth and artificial confidence. If only this person cared for others like they care for “doing nothing at all,” no apologies would be necessary!
5. A Boycott Against Change
When it comes to accountability, most offenders have a plan to escape but no plan to change. For the special bonds they’ve chosen, they should expect to change as a healthy relationship requires. If you hear, “I am what I am” as a reflex to everything, this falls short of sincerity.
Business will settle lawsuits, with no admission of guilt and a confidentiality agreement. But that’s “just business!” Personal relationships are supposed to enjoy more.
“Stress changes the Truth for itself; Peace changes itself for the Truth.” - Jwyan C. Johnson
Rules for the Offended
“Being angry is easy; anyone can do it. But being angry at the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right reason, and in the right way is not easy. It is not within everyone’s power" - Aristotle
Beware of anyone constantly failing this checklist. You may be dealing with a Narcissist on a mission to cause you emotional abuse. And you deserve "peace from the puzzle."
So be your own mystery detective as these are the sincere apology signs.
Guess the Character?
This article is from the character Katlyn Porter featured in the cozy mini-mystery The Shotgun's Wedding. She was the admired news reporter who explored the missing bachelor party guest, and the possibility of it being a alibi.
|Posted by elevenfive on October 3, 2019 at 12:05 AM||comments (0)|
Imagine a store owner phones a very popular customer, with an unusual request:
“Hello sir. Is this Mr. Never Satisfied? I’m the Manager of Customer Service Incorporated. And I’ve been looking at your incredible history of dissatisfactions as a customer. With all the exchanges, damaged returns, and settled lawsuits, Mr. Never Satisfied you’re actually costing us money! So I called to ask you to NOT be our customer anymore.”
Can they do that? Is this “just business?” A toxic relationship can mirror this dilemma. It’ll actually cost you if you stay with this Never Satisfied customer. Don’t bankrupt yourself. Healthy friendships and real love should always make a profit in your heart.
Can They Do That?
A toxic relationship depends on manipulation while it’s going. But when facing an actual breakup, narcissistic abuse depends on tradition (even religion) to make their target stay (not love or negotiation). The common denominator is strategy. And this type of insecurity is relentless against its target. As to the story above, the answer to “can they do that?” is an insistent yes, for the sake of your emotional health.
Is This “Just Business?”
Imagine Never Satisfied customer responding to this break up. It will always follow the same confusing rhythm, the same psychological stages of any toxic relationship (as told inside the book). From Gaslighting, to Hoovering, from a Smear Campaign, to their twisted Stonewall intentions, these are the signs of a toxic relationship. And they make up the metaphorical history of Never Satisfied.
They’ll Actually Cost You!
What can a toxic relationship do to you? How can it actually cost you, rather than benefit you as a healthy relationship does? Narcissistic people manipulate cause-and-effect so much that it ruins its target’s self-perception and self-worth. One of signs of narcissist is their eventual seniority over logic and an exhausted spouse, family member, or friend.
Undercover Customer Revenge
Harder to imagine is this Never Satisfied customer disappearing without a fight. If you already read the book, you know why. And you know what to expect. It starts with a psychological performance of the The Flying Monkeys inside the book’s riddle.
The objective of a Flying Monkey is unfortunately at all costs. These alleged peacemakers reason how to aim their approach with these realities:
- Narcissists never listen. Instead they only care about winning and losing.
- Targets do listen. They are sensitive to your point-of-view, even if they disagree.
So their decision is easy: approach the Target. But here’s where it gets hard: the target is rarely at fault at all (opting out is their right!). And with nothing to change about the Target, the relentless nature of the Flying Monkey becomes an unfair method: getting the innocent Target to listen to and believe the tricky gaslighting, as mentioned in the book. And they’ll do it over-and-over again unless or until the Target recognizes that this so-called, concerned, alleged peacemaker is actually working on commission for their original pain-maker: the narcissist.
By the way, the story’s Manager of Customer Service Incorporated is you! Protect your heart at all costs. It’s “just business.”
“The distance between U and I in Communication varies by perception” - Jwyan C. Johnson
Guess the Character?
This article comes from Officer Wolfe from the cozy-mini mystery The Shotgun's Wedding.