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signs of a narcissist

Signs of a Narcissist

Signs of a Narcissist

signs of a narcissist cozy mystery
Theater of The Mind
Movies Featuring The Signs of a Narcissist

*The following Terms are associated with the phrases, stages, and tactics associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder,  explained in the Dictionary of Terms section of the book inside it's psychological riddle of The Starving Restaurant. *

Sit back and re-experience a psychological instant replay of clues, intentions, and signs of a narcissist in our favorite movies. Get you popcorn and enjoy!
Why Did I Get Married Too?

"...instead I've been waiting for you... to learn how to love me."

Perhaps one of the most resonating movie scenes for a Target to experience. This was a line from an emotionally frustrated husband to his wife (ironically a marriage counselor), as they were in a lawyer’s office, getting a divorce.
 
This divorce was The Discard. Psychologically, the wife’s calm and secretly cold smile to her Target spouse was no coincidence! It was a dismissive act toward an emotionally frustrated husband who insisted, “you tell me how you kept up this farce of a marriage, when I could’ve been out there enjoying my life. Instead I’ve been waiting for you… to learn how to love me.”

The lesson to be learned is to always remember the parallel appetite between a Target and an emotionally abusive Narcissist. It’s a mistake to invest your whole life and lifestyle in the hope to get understanding from a person who’s never proved capable. Though this is from a different movie, it truly is Mission Impossible.

Why Did I Get Married Too? (2010 Movie)
Director: Tyler Perry
Source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1391137/


Pretty Woman

Movie Scene

(Businessman): “But we don’t build anything. We don’t make anything.”

(His Attorney): “We make money.”

 

This was a redemption scene for a corporate raider about to capitalize over another business which never struggled with their purpose. Only business politics made them vulnerable. Because narcissists are consumed only with their ego, they can’t “build anything.” They can’t “make anything” close to purpose which reciprocates with nurture. Accordingly, another sign of narcissism is a jealously with people of purpose.

 

Beyond popularity or even money, there are some rewards forever beyond a narcissist’s reach: honor, integrity, legendary claims, tributes to one’s talent, fond memories of a hero, and ongoing gratitude to a giver. Even during this business owner’s corporate demise meeting, he wanted his employees taken care of. And if you remember in this movie, Vivian suggested “Deep down, I think you like [business owner].” And keep remembering because the corporate raider’s response rhymes with the signs of a narcissism.     

 

Very quickly, the corporate raider makes an unorthodox decision to preserve and work with the business owner. His attorney, or his ego, was a little less than thrilled. What follows next is a little thing called Narcissistic rage, as mentioned in our book.

 

2nd Movie Scene:

(Businessman): “This is [nonsense]. It’s always been about going for the kill. That’s what you like. I’ve spend my whole career making you a very rich man, doing exactly what you want. Now get outta here!”

 

This is precisely the inner conversation narcissists need to have with their ego. Notice also how the attorney attacked his girlfriend who inspired his decision. Ego is jealous in a way that is detrimental… to everyone.


Forrest Gump
In one movie scene, Forrest stands outside with his sidekick friend. And as his friend delivers a clever insult to Forrest, the weather is too distracting to Forrest to focus on his insult. And of course, Forrest Gump takes in information in a slower fashion. So it went a little something like this:

“What?”
“[Insult]”
“Huh” Forrest repeats.
“[Repeats louder]. You understand? I’m insulting you.”
“Oh…okay!”

This so-called friend is leaning in just to insult Forrest Gump! The main takeaway from the scene is recognizing the energy narcissistic people put in just to get Negative Supply. He needed so bad to connect his insult to Forrest that he repeated it louder and said, “I’m insulting you!” It is socially pathetic but not beyond the toxic appetite of a narcissist.

As Forest simply said, “Oh, okay,” this might qualify as The Gray Rock Method.

Forest Gump (1994)
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Writers: Winston Groom  
Screenplay: Eric Roth  
Source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109830/

Soul Food

(Wife):
There's some money missing in our joint account. I'm gonna call the bank tomorrow and..."

(Husband): 
I took it. I used for a down payment on studio time."

(Wife): 
(sighs) I thought this music thing was just a hobby.

(Husband):
How could you say that?

(Wife): Honey, your a lawyer! You work for a great firm. And you could probably make partner if you stop focusing on this little music stuff.

(Husband): If I wanna take x amount of MY money, that exactly what I'll do.
 
(Wife): Only $1234.56 of it is yours.
 
(Husband): Tommorrow... we're getting separate accounts."
 
(Wife): Okay... wait-a-minute. For the book's sake... the next time you take money out inform me."
 
(Husband): Fine (walks away)

Did you notice these signs of a narcissist? We'll go step-by-step soon. But the bigger point of this scene is all the proof that secretly narcissists don't care solutions.

Insecure people always hide behind the presumptions of public opinion having a final reflex to solutions. While normal people assume that 2 people arguing would call it quits as soon as a real solution appears, it's simply not true for narcissists. They're not in this or any argument for solutions; they're in it for control and any power play. Simple as that. Another of those hidden signs of a narcissist hides in this scene. As soon as this conversation costed the wife (any) future control in this area, she negotiated (for the control). Always look for that in a conversation that leaves you feeling drained.

Another of those signs of a narcissist was in her reaction to his hobby itself. "I thought this 'music thing' was just a hobby!" Also the subliminal redirection to stop focusing on it and concentrate on her goal of becoming partner was another one of those signs of a narcissist. This is usually how emotional abuse begins. When happiness and explanations are minimized.

Finally the negotiation was allegedly "for the book's sake" was a tug-of-war pull back into the emotional control the wife was loosing. She would not risk that. But she certainly will risk emotionally abusing her husband? Welcome to a toxic relationship. Exit for your own emotional health, which produces even more harmony and value than music can.  

Soul Food
Director: George Tillman Jr.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120169/

The Negotiator

Movie Scene:

“I’m getting closer to the truth. And now they want me….(calling to the helicopters) You want my blood? Take my blood.”

“We’ve got a shot.”

“Nobody takes that shot. You wanna k him on national TV?”

 

This is a long time favorite movie of mine. Basically it’s a story about a celebrated hostage negotiator who finds himself politically framed by his own FBI friends, after getting too close to the truth (their fraud against the police pension fund). But before the set-up is complete, this hostage negotiator barricades himself inside an FBI building and takes other’s including their chief hostage. And to everyone’s surprise, he demands to deal only with another top negotiator he’s never met because, “when your friends let you down, you can only depend on strangers.” And he uses to unpredictable countdown to finish what his curiosity started.

 

Now during the back-and-forth negotiations, for things like electricity to find computer files, a small group of policemen bust in without the acting negotiator’s permission or knowledge. Although they miss, they mysteriously take out the cop who admitted some of the truth. Afterwards you hear the movie line above.  

 

So let’s experience the symbolism. The set-up experience is synonymous with Projection (as mentioned in the book). It is absolutely one of the signs of a pathological narcissist. The only way they can acknowledge their guilt is to pin it on someone else, even a loyal friend. If you remember our projection scene inside the riddle of The Starving Restaurant in the book, you remember the final reason given for why the couple might as well.

 

Also Mobbing was another trait featured here. This goes along with the infamous Smear Campaign. The emphasis is one the size of the accusing crowd.

 

Notice that when they were about to be exposed, these cops, these authority figures, didn’t even respect their own structure! They broke protocol and symbolizing an abrupt interruption of progress. These are the signs of a narcissist. These are the toxic relationships revealed. Symbolically, these ego-driven guilty people were ready to take him out on national TV if it kept the secret of their fragile ego and meant escaping accountability! Anyone that determined for their ego will never be able to balance a true, sincere, “negotiable” relationship with you.


To Be Continued
More Signs of a Narcissist to Come